I keep getting questions about my pictures and about what my occult roleplays actually look like.
To be clear, I am talking specifically about sessions in which a demonic or occult roleplay is part of the scenario.
Especially with the pictures where I am completely covered in red body paint and look more like a demoness or some kind of fantastical creature, I am often asked whether I actually look like that in my sessions.
A photoshoot like that is, of course, a completely different story. Full body paint is very time consuming and, for me, belongs more to the visual staging of a photoshoot.
In my sessions, I work with carefully chosen makeup, special contact lenses that make my irises disappear, horns, different mouth masks and, of course, appropriate clothing.
From time to time, I also share little glimpses of the preparation for such a session on my social media channels.
As I get ready, put on my horns and gradually transform myself, my own mood changes as well.
It feels as though I am simultaneously stepping a little away from my usual persona while bringing certain facets of myself more strongly to the surface.
I am particularly fascinated by this feeling of something unnatural and fantastical. We often associate fantastical beings with a kind of strength that goes beyond what is human.
Something eerie, combined with feminine allure.
Something that can be fascinating and perhaps a little unsettling at the same time.
When I finally look at myself in the mirror, I often have this feeling of perfection.
Not because I have suddenly become someone completely different.
But because I am suddenly embodying exactly the aesthetic I have always been drawn to.
In that moment, I feel very close to it.
My occult roleplays are not tied to a fixed character with a name and detailed backstory. For me, it is more the idea of a demoness, somewhat similar to a succubus.
A figure with a plan.
She needs her prey to get what she wants.
What exactly that plan looks like, I often do not even know myself at the beginning.
I do not like sticking to a fixed roleplay or predetermined sequence of events. I much prefer to improvise.
As the scene unfolds, the story develops in my mind almost automatically. I take in the situation, my counterpart’s reactions and the atmosphere, and gradually let the story of what my demoness is planning emerge from it.
That allows me to connect with the role much more authentically.
It also creates something different for my counterpart than a predetermined scenario would.
When you think of occult rituals and sacrifices, certain images and ideas naturally come to mind. At first, a person does not know what is actually happening. Perhaps they try to resist or figure out what is behind it all.
Over time, the dynamic changes.
Uncertainty becomes understanding. Resistance becomes acceptance.
And eventually, within the roleplay, there is this feeling of surrendering to a higher power and giving oneself over to one’s fate.
What I particularly enjoy is the moment when I notice that my counterpart is slowly becoming absorbed by the story and the atmosphere.
When he is no longer simply thinking about what is happening, but actually immersing himself in this world.
When we both eventually enter a kind of trance.
When the resistance fades and the dark aesthetic increasingly comes to the forefront.
A sensual power struggle with this dark, occult atmosphere.
Something between unease, awe, attraction and seduction.
And that exact mixture of contradictory feelings is wonderful.
Perhaps it is not actually that complicated why I enjoy this kind of roleplay so much.
I give my aesthetic space and, for a moment, become what fascinates me.